I had the disconcertingly uncomfortable feeling of sadness and boredom yesterday which as best I could tell at the time wasn’t really caused by anything other than the general feeling of malaise. It was uncomfortable because I felt absolutely aware of the situation, disconcerting because I couldn’t do anything about it.
When I think about it now it all was quite odd. I was in the living room with two other people at the time so I wasn’t alone. I had just gone through my daily routine of news web sites and had no other things on my plate internet-wise. I already ate dinner so I couldn’t do that again. The TV was on and I tried switching channels but nothing caught my interest. I looked around at the others and they were both busy on the internet themselves. I felt strangely lonely and disconnected.
I looked at my blog which until yesterday I’d been diligent in updating at least once a day, and had no inspiration at all. This thought made me even sadder. My one and only creative outlet and I had nothing to say.
I’m suddenly reminded right now of a high school assignment we once had. We had to make a sketch drawing along the theme of ‘idleness is the workshop of the devil’. Stupid catholic school.
I feel fine now and more so because of some good news from the job front. Yesterday was the first time since Spring that I brought out my thick sweater to wear outdoors – it really looks like summer has gone its way. I hope this autumn and winter will be at least bearable, heaven knows the weather here is kissing cousins with depression. At least I can afford to go shopping again. Wonder if an iPhone will make me feel better?