Act Your Age Not Your Shoesize

I have grown so much more conservative with age.

Just now saw a video posted on facebook that I would consider, if you asked me years ago, to be just a bit on the questionable side, but which I now find is just plain tasteless.

The video was a reminder of a culture that’s prevalent in gay men. A culture defined by keeping a certain appearance, a certain lifestyle, a certain casualness about personal connections – if you know what I mean.

In the Philippines, back in my 20s, I recall going out nearly every night. It felt so incomplete if I didn’t. The Library, Penguin Cafe, Subway. When I moved to the States, I had some adjusting to do but after a few years, when I became more at ease and made myself a circle of friends, the same routine came back.

I went to the gym (a lot!), avoided carbs like the plague, bought Andrew Christian and 2xist, wore my hair short, and went to bars and clubs every weekend. I tried to look, sound, and behave a particular way because I thought success (in the hunt) meant fitting in and keeping with the program that I wanted to be part of. This went on till my mid-30s which is when I began to feel an increasing ridiculousness to it all. It’s likely I was just wanting something more (which would explain why I left and moved to Europe) and couldn’t wave away the increasingly hollow feeling that came with it.

I’m in my early 40s now, and thankfully I find more satisfaction in a glass of wine on my terrace, or relaxing on my couch at home in front of my computer.
I’m proud to report that I’ve finally graduated from the gym. 
I’m not as concerned with how tight my clothes are – I no longer look like I always buy my shirts from the boy’s section. 
I eat rice as much as I want and when I want.
I’m becoming inexorably, an old fart. Such a far cry from my footloose and fancy-free past.

In case you’re wondering, here’s the link to the video. NSFW! (for most conservative people, at least)

2 thoughts on “Act Your Age Not Your Shoesize

  1. I like what you said here, Gerry. I've never been into a club-hopping type of scene but I have known people like that. To me it has always been based on appearances and being shallow. I think when people become fulfilled in their personal life and stop being afraid to just be themselves, they do see the club scene for what it is. I don't think you're becoming an old fart, I think you have progressed emotionally and are more secure in who you are. While it is important to be healthy and fit, it is ridiculous to starve yourself to make sure you look like you stepped off a magazine cover so you can feel attractive to other people. I think your post also speaks to how happy you must be with your partner and that you have found a meaningful life with him as well.


  2. Thanks, Lisa! I do feel I've progressed/transformed in many ways from those clubbing days, and yes, am considerably happier now with that special someone in my life Great to hear from you!


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